How to stay sane and happy – in bullet points – if you prefer short and to the point writing :)
- expect shit will happen in life, accept it but don’t dwell on it. There’s a fine line between chronic cynism/pesimism and rational/informed cynism.
- Example: learning useful self-defence techniques proactively is good. Being paranoid all the time, that you might get mugged and letting that limit your life is bad.
- know that things take time. Longer than you expect / would like. Realise, that nothing in life is worth really stressing about, is worth real sadness, madness or anger. Things don’t go your way – do something about it, or ignore it. Getting angry won’t make it happen. Deal with obstacles sensimly.
- Example: getting angry at a post office, because they are understaffed. The clerks can’t change that and their bosses don’t hear you. Pointless.
- relationships, people, animals are important, but they can also come and go. Don’t take them for granted, but dont despair if they go – don’t put your life on hold because someone/something is gone from your life. Balance is key.
- Example: it’s ok to be sad after a break-up, but don’t do it for too long – start living, enjoying the opportunities that are in front of you, don’t dwell on what’s behind you. It won’t come back.
- shit does happen. Injury, death, dissapointments – don’t fret about it.
- Example: your car got scratched? Oh well, does it still drive? There you go.
- good shit happens too – don’t fret about it too much either – be like a thermostat, keep a levelled attitude, good or bad comes. Enjoy the good moment, but don’t get used to it. Again – life is a balance of the good and bad.
- Example: doing well at work? Your business is growing? Great. But don’t raise your life expectations and needs because of it, one day it might change.
- people see things differently, don’t struggle too much to make them see as you do. Give them the info, and then time, not pressure
- Example: are you fighting for a cause? Don’t guilt-trip people or pressure them. That’s just giving them more reasons not to listen to you. Lead by example, answer their questions and let them find their own way.
- the world moves with our without you. Technology, politics, laws, nature will do their thing whether you get involved or not. You might try to sway their direction a bit, but don’t expect more.
- Example: your success or failure, your happiness or sadness, whether you sell millions of your services or nothing – is irrelevant to the world around you (barring a few friends and family perhaps). And that’s ok, they have their own stuff to worry about. If your friends don’t support you to the extent you would expect – it’s ok. They probably think the same about you. We all have our own stuff to worry about first.
- social change is slow. Stay sane, don’t expect to improve the world in a few years. Do your best, then let it take its course
- Example: Fighting for a cause? Focus on whether you are doing what’s within your means to further the cause, don’t think you can change the world in your lifetime. Do your best, plant seeds around you and let them grow.
- always take time to rest, to focus on yourself. Allow yourself to be selfish, recharge your batteries, without limiting anyone elses life.
- Example: Various friends always asking you to do stuff? Don’t feel bad for turning them down from time to time (say no) or turning your phone off. It’s ok – you need to be happy yourself first, to be able to help them. No point in accepting to help them just to be miserable around them.
- most people are ignorant of their biases, easily influenced, but very sure they are very independent and rational at the same time. Know this and don’t stress if people don’t behave like you think they should.
- Example: Listen to people, have role models, learn from them – but always remember that they might be wrong too. You might be wrong too. Be sceptical about your scepticism. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. If someone has 25 million followers, maybe they have something good to share. But they are still human and might have bad days, make mistakes or be wrong.
- “leaving a legacy” is overrated – you don’t have to leave anything behind you, just enjoy the ride. You can, of course, choose to leave a legacy, the point is that if you don’t, nothing, absolutely nothing is going to be different once you die. Much better than a legacy is being there for your close ones, making something good – today.
- Example: Don’t be one of those people that alienate everyone around them because of some legacy they imagine in the future. Even if you leave a legacy – you won’t be here to enjoy the fame and as you have alienated your close ones, they won’t care either.
- Don’t worry too much about having some bad habits – not being perfect all the time. It’s ok to occasionally sway off the path. It will remind you why you are on the path and it will give you a chance to practice willpower and self-control. Don’t go off injecting heroin of course – it’s perfectly sane to stay away from anything too dangerous, but don’t worry too much if you sometimes miss a step and eat that croissant. Nature too isn’t without its mishaps or mistakes that take it off-balance for a while, but it always returns to its equilibrium.
- Example: It’s easier to stick to a healthy lifestyle if you allow yourself some breaks from that too. Don’t burn out. Allow yourself to be lazy *sometimes*, to eat bad food *sometimes*, to be unproductive *sometimes*. Sometimes is the essential word here. Be clever about it.
